This is going to be one of those posts that, after you read it, you're probably going to ask yourself, "Why the fuck did I just waste my time reading that?" and I will have no answer.  There really isn't going to be a point to the entry other than me having a blog and being really, really fucking bored.

1) You know what rocks?  Being able to boil up eggs in an electric kettle.  On my favourite cooking show (the one with the science-y guy...trying not to name names), the dude showed the world the most perfect way to cook eggs: put 4 or 5 eggs in said electric kettle, cover with water, turn on kettle.  Let water come to a boil (I let the H2O boil for 1 full minute), turn off kettle, leave alone for 15 minutes.  Ta-Da!  Perfectly cooked eggs!  Boiled eggs are probably one of the most satisfying foods in the world, aside from avocado.  Sometimes, when I'm feeling decadent, I put avocado on boiled eggs.  Fuckin-eh-right.

2) If you're into tales of human stupidity, here's one for you: My friend M. and I went out a couple of nights ago for Stanley Cup fun (although it obviously ended sadly for the Sens).  We pulled into a very busy parking lot and located the handicapped stalls, but there was one problem -- an idiot on his motorcycle was parking his bike in the loading zone.  Obviously, as I have a parking placard and require said loading zone for Hamster, she yelled at him and made him move.  He looked stunned, irritated, and not a little pissed off, but he complied, which is surprising for a young guy; they usually want to argue.  Here's the funny part...in order to get to the handicapped parking, he had to drive past the Motorcycles Only parking!!!  Heehee!  Isn't that STUPID?!?  Not only that, but after we ousted him from the giant "NO PARKING -- LOADING ZONE" area, complete with bright diagonal lines indicating a No Parking Zone, he had to get back on his motorcycle and drive back to the mostly empty Motorcycle Parking.  I'm not even sure what to make of that.

3)I'm feeling extraordinarily pink today.  I think everyone sometimes just feel like a colour and today mine's pink.  And I feel like matching.  A lot.

That's it.  If I decide to annoy the world with more random drivelling later, I assure you, I won't hesitate.

I made some new shirt designs today that are not as blatantly sexy and that are definitely not as feminine.  The Other Half wanted something to wear proudly at Toronto Pride, but he honestly wasn't looking forward to the idea of sporting a strawberry.  I don't know, but I think he would've looked cute(ish) in it.  Eh, maybe not.

Writing is going really well, even though I've been slacking a bit.  The issue is no longer stifled ideas and repressed creativity, it's the fact that I'm a lazy asshole who likes to be social.  Hehehe.  I'm pretty sure writer's block was a more romantic dilemma, but I'm not letting that stop me one bit. 

Time for bed now.

I broke through my writer's block!  The happy story is flowing freely, like a crystal clear stream in the woods, or a crisp breeze whistling through the freshly budding trees, or like the Molson tap at Scotiabank Place in coming weeks...

(As a die-hard Leafs fan, I must say, most ardently, "GO, SENS, GO!")

Anyway, now that my hockey opinions have been expressed, I'm writing like a madwoman.  This book will be a horror, and *gasp* NOT EROTIC!  I know, I know, that's preposterous, but, rest assured, it *is* romantic.  It's also scary and spooky, and peppered with enough humour to make it slightly amusing.  I like it, anyway.

You know what else I like?  Not feeling like my brain is going to explode painfully out the front of my head.  I also like having quiet, stable neighbours who don't scream and try to kill each other outside my window.  I also like cheese.  Unfortunately, I only have the latter as consolation for not possessing the other two.

The lady on TV is making a mess with icing.  That made me laugh, so I thought you'd want to know.

Holy fucking flying frog crap this sucks.  I can't believe that I sat here for what feels like twelve billion years and only have two pages of questionable quality written.  I've done everything else I can do...called friends, talked to my mother, watched tv (shudder), cracked my back, knitted, ripped CDs, consumed several gallons of tea, and did all the maintenance I've ever contemplated doing on the rest of my site.  I've submitted to search engines, poked at random crap, even contemplated prank calling a country restaurant in northern Ontario for diversion (but I didn't).  I think I have procrastinated in every single way a human can procrastinate.  Hell, I even masturbated and cooked unnecessarily large amounts of meat for future meals (but not at the same time).

I'm stuck.

The outlines aren't helping, the character profiles I did aren't helping, even the scary-ass nightmare I had that filled in the plot didn't help, although it did do wonders for my adrenaline.  I'm just not inspired anymore.  Maybe it's the fact that I've been PMSing and crabby as hell, but knowing the problem isn't making me feel any better.  Maybe being able to attribute my writer's block to my crabbiness would be more soothing if I wasn't so goddamned crabby.

Fuck this, I'm going to go do yoga.

This is really annoying.  I have this fantabulous idea for a book with a kick-ass plot, vivid characters, and a killer twist, but I'm getting hung up on stupid details.  One of the main problems I'm having is the main character's profession.  She needs to have a job, but nothing feels right; it's always either too conservative or too out-there to work with her personality and schedule.  The other problem I'm having is perspective: first or third person?  I guess neither of these issues are actually as trivial as I implied, but the rest of the entire story is just sitting there in my head, perfect and crystal clear, and I'm afraid that I'll never have this good of a view of everything in it again.

I need to pounce.

I just gathered together another collection of stories to send to the publisher.  Five stories, some 100% brand new, some previously published favourites, all totally scorching hot!    In this one, I'll cover everything I could think of: a str8 impromptu encounter, a F+F+M three-way, FTM transsexual/Femme bondage, gay men in a truck stop, an all-girl outdoor sex-pile, and a gypsy and a bi-curious chick in a public washroom.  Whew!  I'm getting excited just thinking about it!  *purrrrrrrrrr* 

With my birthday coming up on the 28th of April, the excitement around the house is growing.  My *gorgeous* friend M. took me out to dinner last night to start celebrating early, then she, my insanely handsome hubby, and I all went out on the town for drinks, dancing, and diversions.  Great time!

Speaking of The Best Husband in the World, I'm going to go snuggle with him now.  Maybe I can even coax him into a little morning fun with one of the deliciously wicked tales from my collection...!

Just sitting here at the car-fixy place, waiting for my poor wee car.  I think it's cursed.  I'll have to tell the whole story on here someday, but for now, I'm just really glad it's done.  All the stuff is sent in for Stardust, so I guess I'll just wait to begin the editing process.  *sigh*  I really should be working on my tale of Robert and Pierre, but it's too cold in here to think amorous thoughts.  Hot sex can't be considered in a cold waiting room.  Though, last night was fucking amazing.........

Wow.  *grin*

The past two days have been filled with activity!  Contracts to fill out and sign, stories to send, copyrights to obtain, stuff to write.  Oy!  TEW wrote a GREAT promo for me:

"The uber-talented AJ Bray will never be boxed into one particular niche as a writer of fine erotica - she accepts no boundaries, and her work features something for everyone. AJ's stories blend sizzling fantasy and chic wordcraft into an easy reading style which is guaranteed to please, and leave you begging for more. Check out her stylish site to learn more about the "Wild Child" of the erotic genre!"

I'll be adding their banner ASAP.

I think everything has gone through with the CIPO (Canadian Intellectual Property Office) for the copyrights because the money has come out of my account.  Yay!  I spent money!  LOL

Also, now teeshirts with the site logo can be purchased through the "Gear" link.  I have some wicked cool ideas for other shirts, as well, but first I have to take care of *actual* responsibilities.

In personal news the Other Half was just examining Gerbil, and yeah, she's fucked.  Must go back to the shop.  She just had $1000 of repairs done to her, but she didn't even last a month.  Fuck. 

AND And and!!!!  The Leafs won!  Fuck YEAH!  Go Leafs Go! (unless you're a Sabres fan.  In that case, I'm sorry.)

In the Literary News department, Good With Change, my first full-length novel, just got picked up by Stardust Press.  Not sure about when the release will be, but I'll post more when I know. 

Pretty normal night.  Watching HNIC, sipping VQA wine with the OH, about to pop in Bon Cop, Bad Cop to watch yet again.  I have absolutely nothing interesting to report, other than that I now have a blog, which is, I suppose, news in and of itself.  The website is coming along nicely, I think.  I'm not over-fond of the wonky chick on the top of the page, but she *is* pretty.  It was either that or "Professional Template #4."  I'll take a cute girl hugging a pillow any day.

Speaking of cute girls, I really must go to a dyke bar soon.  I haven't been to one in ages, and I miss the wonderful, joyous, chick-lovin-chick vibe.  Great energy.  Being a devout hockey fan, I've been completely immersed in testosterone for too long.  Since me giving up hockey is about as likely as Ryan Smythe winning a beauty pageant, I'll just OD on oestrogen to compensate.  Hehehe...

Tomorrow, Sam's coming over for craft day.  Knitting!

Oh yeah, literary business!  That's probably why you're here!  Well, Phaze is picking up Hat Trick, so there's nothing left but the contracts.  Still waiting on the release of "Extra Cream" on TEW and the re-release of "Lessons Learned" in Best Lesbian Bondage Erotica.  "Extra Cream" is my first 100% heterosexual story, so that was a feat for me, not to mention quite hot.  It'll be free to read, so I highly encourage everyone to peruse it, regardless of orientation, just for the hell of it.